Headlines: graft and plunder

What are metal dreams?

After a lot of reviewing, I've decided to go ahead and comment on the most popular item of the moment... the Perez-Jimenez LQ.

From what I've gathered from three articles, Perez was a mean bully who stole illegally-acquired lunch money by the two-digit-millions for the victim's "peace of mind". That season, Perez was trying his damnest to convince Jimenez to execute an affidavit to bury the former Pres. Estrada's cronies if they do not support that then small-rabbit-teethed-girl-who- wants-to-live-in-the-great-big-house-by-the-river (she is now the small-rabbit-teethed-girl-who-is-a-crook-and-lives-in-the-great-big-house- by-the-river).

Being a "corporate genius"*, Jimenez was not one to shudder under a bully's shadow. Shortly after bravely refusing to be swayed by the ogre-like Perez, he was suddenly overwhelmed by the thought that his actions brought no good tidings. Perez, who should be charged with home invasion on top of graft etc., stormed the Jimenez household and cursed plus threatened the residents. It would have been entertaining to witness such a scene.

I see it now: Perez, green with anger/hunger/envy/greed, stomping his feet and bellowing "I AM AN OGRE!"

Being a "corporate genius"*, Jimenez knew that he must do something - ANYTHING to shut the man up! That something/anything happened to be coughing up $2mil. But hey, it's not great loss since that money was coming from the Caliraya-Botocan-Kalayaan hydroelectric plant in Laguna which he brokered and won under the Estrada administration (which he vehemently denies saying my boy Ping is a liar. About his sexuality, yes. About this, I don't think so.).

Being a "corporate genius"*, Jimenez handed the ogre the promised amount with a smile. And by that I mean with teeth all barred. One day, Jimenez vowed, there will be reckoning. That, my dearest readers, have come.

Emotional considerations about some of the people involved aside, this is rather boring. It's just crooks going after crooks. Why don't you go after the rabbit? She smells. Even Jimenez, with all his "corporate genius", had declared that it was all about Nani and nothing about the smelly rabbit. Wow. Such a prayerful man, I ought to believe the bastard. But no. Of course not. Nani is an ogre. He's not awfully smart if he were to end up like this, which is out in the open to be hunted by Ombudsman to make the rabbit smell good for the mid-year elections. As far as rabbit smell goes, I don't think there's enough gunpowder to make it smell even remotely acceptable.

Currently, the ogre is somewhat in a cushy position. I thought it the most hilarious thing when Nani gets graft instead of plunder on account that he's only taken bribe ONCE and not TWICE. What the hell! It's like this guy I know who fucked a 15 year old girl and got off clean because of a technicality (I love you dude but please lay off the young ones).

Oh well. Jimenez must be getting lots of good tidings now that he's under the rabbit's bidding. I wonder how much he was paid to revert into a pupet. It's not even a pinochio like puppet, just an old smelly sock with eyes drawn on. Eyw. He is now therefore re-christened as old sock.

Old Sock vs Ogre >>> LETS GET IT ON!
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graft - noun. the acquisition of money, gain, or advantage by dishonest, unfair, or illegal means, esp. through the abuse of one's position or influence in politics, business, etc.

plunder - to rob, despoil, or fleece (baa)

* Erap's favorite moniker for him.
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Non-news

I grieve for the families of Marlon Corate, 22, and Joey Sacdalan (who conincidentaly publishes a tabloid named Headlines), 46. Both had motorcycle related accidents which took their lives.

For all those on two wheels...

PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY AWAY FROM TRUCKS.